Impulse control log

[recoveringcutter]

1.SELF-INJURY THOUGHTS: cutting,

2.TIME AND DATE: 2/20/09 (yesterday)

3.LOCATION: My Room (and my old room

4.SITUATION: ok this is gonna be pretty long ut here it goes.

yesterday i didnt get off of work until 5:50 and me and some other guards were really anger and upset about it. by the time i got to the back my mom was waiting for me and i had my hoody off, she told me i better put it on caus eof how cold it is outside. i told her that i could careless at this point cause im hot enough already. i got home and all i wanted to do was relax and do nothing. my mom asked me if i wanted to go. i told her no and that i wanted to stay home and relax, she said fine whatever and i said fine i'll go. so i got dressed and walked out into the front room. my mom sid it was going to be a while cause she had to wait until swans" (a food delievery thing) came to ou place cause i guess my dad didn't know what to do. as i waited i went online to check some things and i heard my mom yell for me to come here. i walked out of my sisters old room and i saw my dad walking out of my old room (its being redone right now) and he was yelling at me asking what the hell all this was and if it was trash. he kept yelling at me and it really starting to get to me for once. and i wanted to cut which was a first. he went on saying how it needs to be done and so on. so i spent about an hour putting a seond coat of paint on what needs it. and it really didn't help that i was painting with red paint.. to make long story short i posted about all what happend in another teen advice site and i was upset with the feedback i got. one person posted saying

"do you know there are people here with REAL problems?"

reading that made things worse.. so i left that site for a little bit and idk when i will go back


5.FEELING: still a little angery, upset


6.WHAT WOULD BE THE RESULT OF SELF-INJURY? that the pain and stress will subside but the relapse will haunt me for days

7. WHAT WOULD I BE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH MY SELF-INJURY? that giving in to cutting will take away my pain but wont take it away for good.

8.ACTION TAKEN: i just held my breath and listen to some music

9.COMMENTS: i think taking a break from the other advice site was for the best. i was really anger with the messages i got back from the other members even from the fist person. i did get some nice feedback from other members... it was strange for me to all of a sudden to feel that way (and from what others said in that site) i really hope that im able to control these feelings and such

[Chy]

I'm so sorry you had the impulse but so very proud of you for completing your log. Some people can just be insensitive and not understand what triggers can come from situations like you described. Some just don't get it, your dad is a trigger and yelling is a trigger, don't feel bad about what the others said at all... you worked it out well!

[recoveringcutter]

's chy

[NoOneCanHearYou]

What they said to you was inexcusable. That reallly pisses me off!!!!!!
I would try and say something like....don't let it get to you....but I can't cause I know it would get to me if it happened to me.

Some people just don't get it. >=[

[Jemmicalia]

glad i did read it

[Hopefloats]

When people are just plain rude I contribute that to THEM. It really is a reflection of who "they" are. Chy is right. You have done a great job of keeping the focus on you in a positive way. You should feel VERY PROUD!!!