he's blaming my mom?!

[recoveringcutter]

so my dad has been a diabetic for as long as i can remember. hes been on more meds then i can count, he continues to eat fast food, he will eat just about anythiing he sees on the kitchen table, he will take a bag of chips sit on the couch and eat half the bag, eat tons of candy when he shouldn't during the holiday , and other things.. i heared them starting to get in a small fight about my dad ate eating two doughnuts just a few minutes ago. my mom made a comment but my dad yelled at her saying

"well if you wouldn't bring the crap in the house i wouldn't eat it."

my mom dosent get it. she has tried many different things to do but it dosent work. sometimes she will find candy wraps in his work pants pockets, or trying to sneak something. i know my mom shouldn't bring the candy in the house but my dad should be able to fight temptation and not eat it.. i have an idea but im not sure of how well it will work.

[annihilate_me]

Here's advice from a diabetic.

You're dad is a grown adult. He can make his own decisions to his health and his illness.

[Chy]

I agree with the above! He's blaming because he's shameful and guilty of his own actions. Rather than be accountable he's pointing the finger. We have a saying in the rooms of AA, when you're pointing your finger at anothers actions there are 3 fingers pointing back.. try pointing you'll see what I mean.

He's a compulsive it seems and like an addict they can't control themselves, like an addict they blame others, like an addict he looks everywhere but inside himself in finding the excuses.... let your parents deal with it.. it's not your business as sad as that may seem to say.

[icthus77]

Syke's and Matza's theory of neutralizations. There are fives techniques of neutralizations in which people use to try to rid guilt. One of them being denial of responsibility. Like chy said he is blaming others for his actions due to guilt and possible signs of addiction. Although I learned this theory in my juvenile delinquency class and it refers to delinquent acts I believe it can certainly be applied to this situation too. It makes sense and people do it more than they realize. Hopefully he will realize the damage he is doing to himself and that he is only hurting himself before its too late.

[NoOneCanHearYou]

Originally Posted by recoveringcutter

so my dad has been a diabetic for as long as i can remember. hes been on more meds then i can count, he continues to eat fast food, he will eat just about anythiing he sees on the kitchen table, he will take a bag of chips sit on the couch and eat half the bag, eat tons of candy when he shouldn't during the holiday , and other things.. i heared them starting to get in a small fight about my dad ate eating two doughnuts just a few minutes ago. my mom made a comment but my dad yelled at her saying

"well if you wouldn't bring the crap in the house i wouldn't eat it."

my mom dosent get it. she has tried many different things to do but it dosent work. sometimes she will find candy wraps in his work pants pockets, or trying to sneak something. i know my mom shouldn't bring the candy in the house but my dad should be able to fight temptation and not eat it.. i have an idea but im not sure of how well it will work.

As a diabetic, I kinda get what he's going through in a sense....not being allowed to eat candy and donuts when they're right there makes it harder on someone who can't eat it...I still catch myself sneaking foods when I get the oppurtunity...but that doesn't change the fact he needs to grow up and take responsiblilaty for his health. If he doesn't want to take care of his body, he's going to regret it in the end. He could get kidney failure, go blind, even die...and maybe it's going to take him going blind to realize how serious this disease is....
What type of diabetes does he have??? If he's insulin dependant, then would he maybe consider going on an insulin pump? It controls sugars better, and diabetics have more freedom with the foods they eat...

[recoveringcutter]

im not sure what kind of diabetes he has. i still see him eatting junk food that some times HE brings home from work.

[Lestine]

I think your dad's attitude of blaming others is just a symptom of getting older. He is old enough to know the right from wrong. If he eat something that he knew is bad for his health, he must have been aware of it before and is actually ready to face the consequence of it. The only thing is, your mom is there and can be an object to blame, which your dad is actually doing.