To meet or not to meet, that is the question

[Dreamz]

MAJOR DILEMA

The girl I used to do meth with - my ex bestest bestest friend in the whole wide world) Messaged me, and we chatted about old times for a bit. We've hardly spoken since we went our seperate ways - mine way against meth, hers still on it.

She qwants to catch up soon. She is having a night out with some friends and she asked me to join her cause she misses me.

I miss her too alot. At first our friendship was real, then we just brought the worst out in each other and got so hard on meth that it all went spiralling outta control.

I'm different now. I know that stuff is nasty, and I think about this girl everyday, I really miss her, we were so close.

Should I meet up with her. I'm pretty sure I'm strong enough to say no incase I was offered anything - and I'm not 100% sure that she would even do it in front of me.

I just don't know

Is it worth losing a friend over?

I mean I guess I have already lost her but I would really like to patch things up - we always had so much fun together and I'm pretty sure it wasn't just cause of meth?

Any ideas?

I'm not rying to get out of making that decision because I know I'm the one that has to do it. But I would love some outside opinions!!!

[pink_lucie]

I think you should meet with her.

Maybe her seeing you not on meth anymore will make her think twice about taking it? Also if she was your friend she would have the respect to not do it in front of you.
You have to make sure you dont lose contact with her cos when things get bad she has to have someone no mater what and thats what best friends are for.

[dont cry for me]

ye i agree definetly meet up with her!!!

u dont want to lose your friend, and if your sure you wont do it then go for it!!!

good luck

[Done-With-It!]

She's still using?

NO NO NO NO

STAY AWAY

You may be able to stay No,
but the the odds of that are scary.

Once you meet up, and good times start happening
how long before you think,
Oh just line isn't going to hurt.

My X-best friend is the one who first turned me on
origninally. I miss her too, we had a blast together.

No way in hell I'd meet up with her again.
No way.
It would take me less than a day to cave in.

Besides I need to find new friends in my life
as hard as it is, ones who don't have meth
in their life. That's part of staying clean.
(for me)
Keeping the ones that use out.

Let us know what you do sweetie.

[Dreamz]

Originally Posted by gossip_girl

You have to make sure you dont lose contact with her cos when things get bad she has to have someone no mater what and thats what best friends are for.

Well we've kinda already lost contact. I haven't really spoken to her since my clean date.....back in March this year.

The reason that we stopped speaking is because I said I was through with meth and she thought I was choosing my boyfriend over her. He basically forced me to stop drugs - he locked me in my own house (with him there) and wouldn't let me out - then after 2 days of hating him - I started to see where he was coming from and agreed to try staying clean for at least one month - and the rest is history - been clean since!!!

I really miss her, and I know she needs someone. I just don't know if I can trust her or not. On one hand I would LOVE to believe that she would respect me enough not to do meth in front of me - on the other hand - what if she doesn't?

Am I strong enough - as much as I'd love to say yes....I don't know???

[Dreamz]

Originally Posted by Done-With-It!

.

My X-best friend is the one who first turned me on

origninally. I miss her too, we had a blast together.

No way in hell I'd meet up with her again.

No way.
It would take me less than a day to cave in.

I guess thats what I'm afraid of - I know as soon as I see her I'm going to want to do meth - whether she's doing it or not. Its almost like I want to put myself in that position again, I want to be able to say the pressure was too much so I caved in. I don't want to do it but at the same time, I do.

I'm so confused right now. And not just the drug part but she really was my closet bestest friend - she knew me, everything about me, she read me and knew what I was thinking, she was kinda like a sister.

I hate that this drug costs us our friends, because before meth - everything was great.
I HATE THAT STUFF
So why do I still love it?

God this has been a nightmare. Thanks for the advice. I don't think I will see her, I still don't know - which is kinda terrible, but I'm just so confused. I'll keep you up to date. I definately don't think I can struggle through this alone.

I'm just having some down time at the moment - feeling all blue and I'm starting to get bored, not working or anything which is making me think too much - you know how it is!!!

Thanks GG, Don't cry for me and Thanks Miss Done!!!!

I'm still confused but its nice to know I can't get it out, I always make better decisions after I've heard other opinions.

[Done-With-It!]

Oy do I know what you mean.
When I got into Crystal Meth
it was from my guy best friend of over 8 years.
We met right after I moved to LA. We were like
brother and sister. Damn did we go through so much
together, I don't even to there, cuz it kills me thinking
of how much of my life was spent with him. omg, crazy.
How many times he, nevermind, I just know what you mean.
He lived with me in the end. He always had done drugs over
the years, mainly weed. I didn't care what he did, except when he did coke, he'd be an ass, but that was rare.
But then he brought me home a bag of meth, and he got hooked, he went crazy. OMG, I had to kick him out.

The girl I was talking about. Before I moved here, she'd come to LA with me all the time. She used to visit me.
Her and I did a 100 MILE ROLLERBLADE MARATHON.

These guys were a huge part of my life. I still miss them.
It hurts to think of them, and I'd love to have them in my life. Esp. the guy. LA is a HARD town. Almost ALL of my best friends have moved from here. They all gave up.
lol, this town is tough.

I want to be able to say the pressure was too much so I caved in. I don't want to do it but at the same time, I do.

I hate that this drug costs us our friends, because before meth - everything was great.
I HATE THAT STUFF
So why do I still love it?

I know exactly what you mean. I am reading a book and it gave me a flashback to a time when I was doing it, weird, it was just a time when I was going to see a friend in a pysch ward of all things. And I remember going in to do a line before I saw her. And I got a rush just thinking about it.
And I had to talk myself down, it was a horrible feeling.
Then again, I just remember how horrible and guilty and dirty and scared I felt doing that line right next to the pysch ward, wondering if I was going to get caught.
LOL
You want to remember the truth about meth,
Visit Newcomers (overthere) the post,
I am really crying right now.

Girl, don't do it.

If you start up a relationship with her again,
YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN

and it won't be worth it

Then it's going to be hell trying to get clean again.
And your going to hate yourself for doing it.

It's never as good as we think it is.
And you'll never get a job if your
tweaked out.

Keep posting about it though
and talking yourself through it.

I've done the same thing a 1000 times.

[Dreamz]

Yeah I know, I know you're right.

I HATE feeling like this. Well you don't have to worry yet. Its only Tuesday and the plan wasn't to see her until Saturday.

I still haven't told her no yet - but I haven't really told her yes either. I can't bring myself to do it. I will, I know I have to make a decision and I know what the right decision is. It just really sucks.

You're right though because even if she wasn't do any while I was there, and even if she's given up, we've tried it once before together and it doesn't work, we always cave in, within half an hour.

I'll be glad when this stupid weekend is over - to make it worse, its raining. I hate the rain!!!

Dumb rain.


Dumb

guess we need it though

We're in drought, well some areas are, we're not exactly. Where my grandma lives hasn't had rain in like forever. They're not even allowed to have showers everyday, they can't wash cars or water gardens.

I'm going to focus my energy on trying to save water, make my community aware, because otherwise I'll just sit here in the dumb rain torturing myself over this weekend!

Off to save water!!!

Hopefully the rain will stop as a reward for my saving water (hmm I want to save water and at the same time I want the rain to stop - figure that one out!!)

[Done-With-It!]

LMAO, WHAT ARE YA GONNA DO

GO SET UP DIXIE CUPS ALL AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD?

No, Really. You've got me intrigued. How in the world are
you going to save Rain Water?
I hope you use bigger cups than dixie cups if that is your plan.

Ya know what is weird.
I still love and can watch
the movie
"Blow"
(At Certain Times)
But I've been Scared to death
to watch Requim
I had a friend who
(never had tried meth
but knew about my issue)
who kept pressuring me one
night, good grief,
she wouldn't shut up about it.
So I said Okay.
Big Mistake.
As soon as I found mine,
I had to throw it away.

That was one of my All Time favorite movies.
Even though the ending was so terrible.
Even the middle, has made me vomit.
But the beginning.
They just captured the feeling
OY, and Done must not watch that.
Just one of those weird things
I had to decide to do.
Anyway totally different. But...

Okay, I'll shut up
so you can go Catch your rain drops

[dont cry for me]

omg a drought!?! thats never happened here!!! we had a "heatwave" in the summer but it still rained non stop!!! the weather here sucks lol



let me know what happens between u and ur friend, im sure itl turn out alright in the end

[Dreamz]

I've decided that I'm going to save water by running around in my swimmers in the rain (when it actually DOES rain) with a big bucket.

That way - I'll have a rain shower, and I can save the water in the bucket - for a bath!!!

Haha - I'm nuts, how would one go about saving water???

* * * * * * * *

Still haven't told my friend whether or not I'll catch up with her. I'm trying to avoid it - I know I should just say no - but no is so final!!!

I know that I probably won't go and see her, I know that what I should do, I guess I'm just putting it off so I don't have to deal with it yet. It's thursday today though so Saturday is only 2 days away....It's like a countdown of pressure!!!

[nogard]

No No No, just say no be direct but gentle. Keep it short as well.

Kevin
PS No is a good word sometimes