im not sure who i should tell.

[sallys_scars]

i know i havent said anything about this here.
i havent told many people
but last june i got raped, and i didnt tell my parents
or report it to the police
a couple of my friends are pushing me to but i cant do it.
ive just been talking about it with one of my friends
and getting over it that way
she helps with it since she went through the same 2 years ago
and so i wrote a poem just to get some things out
and my counsler from camp saw it.
im not sure if hes going to call my parents
im not sure what i should do now..


heres the poem.

virginity


You deny every action
That you had any attraction
To the sacred 'item' between my legs
You just broke out the kegs.

You stole something so divine
You received it and said it was fine
For me to shiver in pain and fear
While you sat there and drank your beer

I did scream, I did fight
You pinned me down on the car seat
That horrible night
And whispered to me 'feel the heat'

I think about you everyday
How you took my life away
I'll never be the same, now that its gone
You made a crow out of a swan

[Done-With-It!]

Well I think you should tell your parents. This is something that with time and the right kind of counseling you can get help with, and once again, feel like a 'swan'.

But time won't heal this alone, from my experience I've never seen anyone get better without help from an qualified outside source.

When someone takes something like this, it's normal to think about it/them every day, and all the other thoughts you must be feeling are completely normal.
I am glad you have been talking to someone whose gone through it, that is a good first step, but I really believe you need to talk to someone else who is trained to help you get through this.


And for what it's worth I believe there is a "Special Place" for the ones who do this stuff at the end of their life. They are the sick ones, not the one it happens to. Rape is truly one of the worst things you can do to the human mind, imo.

I am very sorry this happened to you. You were his victim for one night, but you don't have to remain his victim.
That's what usually happens. Allow yourself to reach out and get the help you need.

[Chy]

I'm very sorry this happened to you and you have no reason to be ashamed and I think you should tell your parents. If you know who it was he needs to be reported to the police. Though any evidence is pretty much gone they can start a file on him. Don't be afraid of repercussion by him if you know who it is. By talking to your parents they can help you with this, file a report, get a restraining order, get you some counseling and NO one should ever have to go through this alone and keep it inside. I'm glad your friend is helping but you need some adult help with this, if he's done it once and got away with it you can be sure he'll do it again to some one else. We're here for you.

[sallys_scars]

i would file but he was
too drunk
too high
to barred out to remember anything
i already have 'trust' issues with my parents and i dont want them to lose the trust they have.
it wont help the situation

i dont want to go through it with officers.
i snuck out of the house
got in his car
stayed in the car to talk and he drove off
i put myself in the position
i had to pay the price

i dont want to sit in a police station
where several of the officers know my parents
and tell them
detail by detail what happened
who he is
and why i decided to even talk to him

i dont want to go through it

[Done-With-It!]

Well maybe not to press charges, but to get some counseling is what I was thinking.

I can understand why you wouldn't want to do the other part, but I think you should think about getting some counseling.

[annihilate_me]

Done's right. You should get some counseling. It will help you relieve some of the pain you're still having. Being able to talk to people will help you!

Take Care and Stay Safe.
-Amanda