First Year Blues....

[Kellie]

First Year Blues by Vicki Nassichuk

Why am I so scared? I thought I was supposed to feel excited and adventurous. I've only waited 12 years for this moment! I've been accepted to the college I wanted; I've got the courses I wanted; I've met my roommate and I've been packed for months. So, what's the problem?
I am a college student, but not just any college student. I'm a first year college student, away from home! I can now look back on the few weeks prior to moving, and laugh, but then again, I've been here for a month now. I can still remember the fear and panic I felt when faced with leaving my family and my home. I had a horrible feeling that once I left for school, Mom and Dad would turn into Linda and Ron, the couple I stayed with every couple of weekends. My room would turn into a bed and breakfast! I'd have to phone and ask when I could come home. Everything was going to change, when I liked it just the way it was. Why was I doing this?
Linda and Ron hugged me good-bye and left me to fend for myself in the big, cold city. How could they be so cruel? How could they leave their baby all alone? How come they didn't tell me I needed the exact change for the bus? Somehow I got through the two days before (gulp!) the first day of school. What was I going to wear? What do city kids wear? I was sure I was destined to be The Nerd Who Could Never Fit In. The night before, I practiced looking chic and sophisticated. I couldn't quite master this look, so I had to settle on my Standard High School Uniform: Levis, Sweatshirt and Keds. When I arrived at school I was relieved to see the High School Uniform was universal. I managed to blend in with the rest of the first year lost souls.
As time wore on my fear subsided and loneliness set in. Why does everyone know everyone else? Is my phone broken? How did I manage to offend the entire campus? It was time for a new technique in meeting people: Perma Grin! I walked around flashing my pearly whites at anyone who would glance in my direction. It worked! Other lonely kids rushed to my side and were eager to start a conversation.
Finally, I had friends and I had something else, too. I had homework. What I wanted to know was where were all these essays, quizzes and chapters when I didn't have any friends?
I'm going to warn you now, college homework is not like high school homework! At college you go at your own pace; you don't have to worry about reading that chapter because they won't check; if you miss an assignment, hey, no problem! There are no detentions or notes home; you just get an F. An F?! No problem! I wanted to shake each one of my instructors and yell, "Do a homework check! How do you expect me to study when you don't tell me to? What do you people want from me?" Eventually, I bribed myself to do homework with chocolate.
I've settled into the role of "student". It did take some time, I'll admit. And I'm still painfully realizing that it's no exaggeration to call myself a "poor starving student". As a student I have mastered dressing, being away from home and studying. What's more, each month, I give a big chunk of my savings to the two causes that keep me sane: B.C. Tel and Canada Post.

http://collections.ic.gc.ca/generati...text/90pc2.htm

[Kellie]

CU psychologist's book advises students on how to beat those college blues

By Linda Grace-Kobas


College is a positive experience for most students, but some newcomers to campus may encounter problems that range from homesickness and anxiety to severe stress. Other students bring their existing problems, like eating disorders and procrastination, to college, where it can be harder to cope in the absence of family structure and supervision.
Adding to the dilemma is a new range of problems facing students that didn't exist even five years ago: Internet addiction, access to pornography on the World Wide Web, greater availability of gambling sites and an increasingly wide array of lifestyle and career choices.

"Students in the year 2000 freshman class will encounter many new challenges," said Philip W. Meilman, director of counseling and psychological services at Cornell and co-author of Beating the College Blues (Facts on File, 1999), a self-help guidebook written for students in question-and-answer format. "The choices students have to make can be overwhelming," he said.
Meilman co-authored the book with Paul A. Grayson, director of counseling services at New York University.
In preparing this revised edition of their handbook, Grayson and Meilman were struck by the amount of new material they had to add since the first edition appeared in 1992.
"Multicultural issues have gained in importance and visibility over the past several years, mirroring the change in demographics in higher education," Meilman said. "In addition, the World Wide Web didn't exist when we prepared the first edition nine years ago. Information on birth control and psychiatric medications has changed significantly, and the treatment of gender and sexual issues is more sophisticated and complex in this edition than in the earlier book, which reflects our field's growing understanding of and responsiveness to these issues."
The most common problems facing students are the traditional ones, report Grayson and Meilman.
"Depression and anxiety are traditionally at the top of the list of 'presenting complaints' at college counseling centers nationwide," Grayson said. "Alcohol and drugs are not the biggest danger for students, but they can be a serious problem, and students often fail to see the connection between their distress and the way they are using substances."
The first month is often the hardest for new students, Meilman added, and while most students can "tough it out," some need help but may be too shy to ask for it.
"It's not cool for a student to say he or she is scared or homesick, so freshmen tend to bottle things up and don't realize that many of their classmates are struggling with exactly the same issues," Meilman said. When asked if students should be shy about asking for help sooner rather than later, he replied: "It's a matter of what works. It makes sense if it's not too severe to give things a few weeks or even a month or two to see if the issues resolve on their own. Oftentimes startup concerns will clear up as a first-year student gets acclimated. If a freshman is disabled by fears or anxiety, though, seeking counseling sooner is certainly better than later."
How can parents tell from a distance their child needs help?
"Danger signs include non-communication, guardedness, a visible change in weight or appearance, a negative attitude, a drop in grades, irresponsibility or any comments suggesting depressive or suicidal thinking, such as giving away of prized possessions or making comments about going away for a long time," Meilman advised.
But parents should expect some changes, he added.
"The first trip home at fall break or Thanksgiving is usually exciting but a bit de-centering," Meilman said. "Students want home to be the same and to connect like before with hometown friends and family, yet somehow things are beginning to change. They have had new experiences and look at home, parents and friends with fresh eyes. This is even more the case by the time of the college student's first Christmas break. The old ways don't exactly feel quite right. It's important for parents to recognize that their students are undergoing some major life transitions. Accepting that and just being there for their sons and daughters is helpful."
In discussing updates that needed to be added to Beating the College Blues, Meilman pointed out that college counselors nationwide are currently seeing students who have problems related to new communications technology.
"The Internet is a wonderful communications and research tool, but we are periodically encountering harassment of students by other students via e-mail, and we are seeing students who are addicted to chat rooms and interactive Internet games. In addition, we have observed some serious addictions to Internet pornography," Meilman said. "This latter problem is almost exclusively a male phenomenon, experienced by some college men who have difficulty making and sustaining relationships in the real world."
Grayson noted that coping with increasing diversity on campuses can cause anxiety, especially among students who are members of minority groups and international students. "The issues are complex and so we devoted space in the opening chapter to concerns about feeling different and not fitting in, biracial identity, overt mistreatment and prejudice, subtle misunderstandings, and advantages and disadvantages of primarily associating with individuals inside vs. outside of one's culture. We believe these topics will be helpful to our minority as well as non-minority readers."
Despite the changes, the authors worked hard to retain the book's user-friendly tone and outlook. It contains hundreds of questions and answers, and questions range from the serious ("I always thought my parents had the greatest marriage. Now they're thinking about a divorce, and I feel devastated. What do I do?") to the humorous ("Right after we make love my boyfriend turns over and goes to sleep. Why are guys like that?") to the practical ("I've tried everything to get along with my roommate, but it's still not working out. Now what?"). The answers are mercifully brief and to the point and occasionally amusing, while retaining their serious purpose.
The good news for parents is that almost every college and university recognizes the pressures facing students and provides counseling and other support services to help meet their emotional and adjustment needs. With regard to counseling and psychiatric services, Meilman adds that new and more effective antidepressants are continually being developed and can be helpful if counseling by itself is not sufficient. Parents can contact residence life and counseling center staffs, or even a campus minister or dean, if they have reason to be especially concerned about their child at college, Grayson and Meilman advised. Fortunately, most problems can be solved with extra support and good information about campus life, such as that supplied in Beating the College Blues.

[Kellie]

If you can't find this book at your local book store it is available at Amazon.com


Beating The College Blues