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#1
07-21-2008, 09:54 pm
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Affirmations.
 Tools for Personal GrowthSelf-Affirmations Content:
Before we can become self-affirming, we need to learn about the effects of negativism in our lives. Negative self-scripts are the:
 The outcome of believing in negative self-scripts can include: Over-dependence on the approval of others: You have an inordinate need to receive positive reinforcement or approval for what you are, how you act, and what you do from others, with an inability to be self-rewarding. Lack of self-esteem and low self-concept: You have an inability to believe in your own worth, inability to see any value in your own life, a poor self-image, and a lack of belief in your competency to succeed in life. Immobilization: A rigid belief system immobilizes you from taking risks in life, prevents you from wanting to make a change, freezes your feelings into a negative pattern, and convinces you that your only role in life is to be victimized by those from whom you cannot escape. Negativity: Your negative view of yourself leads you to see all of your world in a negative light. You begin to believe and act as a `"loser.'' You see nothing in a positive light and can't be convinced that there is a better option in life. Pessimism: You no longer believe that you will succeed and are no longer willing to take an optimistic position as you look to your future. You can see only gloom and doom on the horizon. Self-Pity: You begin to feel so sorry for yourself and how life has treated you that you become your best ``pity party'' guest. You are so lost in your self-sorrow, regrets, remorse, sympathy, and pity that you refuse to be shaken or changed. You begin to believe that no one will notice you if they can't feel sorry for you too. Cynicism: You take a "yes-but'' cynical look at every suggestion for change in your life. You begin to doubt in the sincerity, kindness, and [COLOR=blue! important][COLOR=blue! important]love[/COLOR][/COLOR] of others who are trying to help you. You create a barrier of cynicism to block them out, thus convincing yourself when they leave you that they really didn't care. The "Guard-All Shield'': You create an invisible shield, tough for others to see or to penetrate. People will approach you and try to get involved, but you zap them with your shield and they back away or turn and run. The shield is so subtle that at times you don't even know it exists, and you get confused by people pulling away from you. This shield can take the form of coldness, wise cracking, fear of being hurt, aloofness, unwillingness to change or take a risk, fear of being taken advantage of, fear of intimacy, fear of failure, fear of hurting others, or any other feeling that keeps you from connecting emotionally with another person Fulfillment of the Prophecy: Because negative self-scripts predict the worst, you at some subconscious level work to achieve the worst and succeed in fulfilling the negative prophecy of: failure, rejection, loss, disapproval, or any other catastrophe or malady. It is a pattern of being self-destructive with one's life. Depression: Because of the anger, resentment, rage, hurt, disappointment, disillusionment, and suffering you experience from your negative self-scripting you are a ``good'' candidate for firm and long-lasting depression. Your emotions can become so stuck, rigid, and constricted that you can be embedded into a deep sense of melancholy, blue funk, and loss of hope. At this stage you are a candidate for mental health intervention before the depression reaches a despair level and you become even more self-destructive, possibly physically ill or suicidal. Self-affirmations are:
I statements: "I'' statements are one-line statements that can be repeated to cover three areas: I am: A statement of who you are This is a positive affirmation of a real state of being that exists in you. You can achieve a full list of I am Y statements by taking a personal positive inventory of your attributes, strengths, talents, and competencies. Examples include:
I can: A statement of your potential This is a positive affirmation of your ability to accomplish goals. It is a statement of your belief in your power to grow, to change, and to help yourself. I can Y statements are developed after you develop a set of "short-term'' (three to six months) goals. Examples include:
I will: A statement of positive change in your life This is a positive affirmation of a change you want to achieve. It is a positive statement of what you want to happen. It is a ``success prophecy.'' I will Y statements are developed after you have set your priorities for the short-term goals you have set. Examples include:
I am I can Statements of Self-Belief I will The daily use of these "I'' statements is another form of self-affirmation designed to counter negative self-concept. It can result in a positive attitude, optimism, and can motivate you toward emotional growth and progress. There are word, images or pictures and scenario visualizations, all affirming positively. Word Visualizations: Step 1: Take any single target word about who you are, your ability, or what you want to accomplish. Write it on a 3 x 5 card. Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state, preferably just before you go to bed. Hold the card about 12" to 24" from your eyes. Focus your eyes on the word and concentrate your attention. Hold this thought for up to 20 or 30 minutes. Step 3: Do this exercise nightly for at least two weeks. As you continue, you are burning the image of your goal word into your mind. It will be with you in your thoughts as you proceed in your everyday life. Image Visualization: Step 1: Create or find an image of an object, person, or thing that embodies your goal for who you are, what your abilities are, or what you want to accomplish:
Step 2: Get yourself into a relaxed state and either look at the picture or imagine you reaching your goal. Do this for 20 minutes each night for one month. Step 3: Get copies of your picture or a simulation of your goal, and tape them in places where you will see them as you go through your normal day. Step 4: Continue to keep your images in place until you have accomplished the ``goal'' feelings of success and/or achieved the ``object'' success. The important thing is to believe that it is possible to achieve. This motivation is the most important step on your journey to success. Scenario Visualizations: Step 1: Once you have a goal in mind for yourself, daydream a full color movie in your mind of what your life would be like if you achieved the goal. Step 2: Get a tape recorder and talk out the whole movie on tape. Be fully descriptive, colorful, positive, and uplifting. Use your imagination to the fullest and describe how positively you will be handling the change resulting from your goal attainment. Describe how key "significant others'' in your life will cope successfully with your change. Save this tape for future reference. Step 5: Refer back to the tape and script as time goes on until you have reached full attainment of your goal. These forms of affirmation are words, phrases, or statements written on 3 x 5 index cards and placed where you can see them daily and be reminded of positive aspects about yourself. Every time you see these affirmation cards they will remind you to affirm yourself about these positive qualities or attributes. State all affirmations in a positive way.
Affirmation word examples:
Affirmation statement examples:
Write a single positive affirmation on thirty 3 x 5 index cards. Take one card a day for each day of the month. This card is your affirmation for the day. When you get to the last card start again. To make this daily affirmation process grow, write out thirty different affirmations for each month of the year. Keep the 360 cards in a recipe box and continually use the collection year after year, adding new affirmations as you need them.
__________________
You can't run away forever, but there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.        
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#2
07-21-2008, 10:03 pm
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Beyond Positive Thinking
Positive thinking and affirmations are a great beginning to get you on a more positive path in life. A Course in Miracles is an especially great book for helping you to begin this new life. Many people find, however, that this course is simply not enough. After completing the course over the period of one year, they find that they want to start again and go through it another year or even more. The important thing to recognize is that positive thinking is only the beginning of a larger and more comprehensive spiritual path. It requires positive energy to undertake a spiritual course because overcoming challenges takes effort and strength. As you gain energy, you will naturally call up greater and greater challenges for confrontation. People who suffer from low self image or negative thinking often carry with them a core idea that they are a “victim” of the world and they feel that they have somehow been cheated. They point their finger at others in order to feel better about themselves. The use of positive self affirmations is a great way to overcome this victim kind of thinking but it is only the beginning. These affirmations and positive patterns of thought can sometimes be misused as a way of asserting ourselves against an “imaginary enemy”. This turning of ourselves against the negativity of the world can merely strengthen the illusion that there is something out there that is negative and worth fighting against. Nothing could be further from the truth. Negativity, in and of itself is nothing. It does not have an independent existence but is really better thought of as a simple lack of positive thinking. Moving beyond the duality of Positive and negative is what it means to move “beyond positive thinking” . There is nothing out there that is trying to hurt us. This idea has been stuck in our minds and is part of an illusion that merely needs to be let go of rather than “battled”. Using positive thinking as weapon or a tool is not the way that self affirmations were meant to be used. There is a victim mentality in many of us who suffer from negative thinking which tends to keep us feeling sorry for ourselves. We may even get a secret enjoyment by thinking of ourselves as the cheated or downtrodden which makes it easier for us to be enamored of ourselves. It doesn’t really help us in the long run to hold enemies in our minds because it merely keeps the old cycle going wherein we view ourselves as a victim and continue to feel like there is a perpetrator out there trying to destroy us. We remain similar to the way we have always been and the self affirmations eventually have no more effect. In order to make a real change and to utilize the true power of self affirmation, we need to look more closely at the manner in which we see ourselves as a “victim” in the world. This victim psychology must also be let go of if the more positive self affirmations are to truly raise a persons self esteem. This is what it means to move beyond positive thinking. Although we love to see ourselves in a positive light all the time, it is also good to keep our humility. It should be enough for us to simply view ourselves as exactly what we are, rather than insisting on seeing ourselves as somehow “better” than what we actually are. We don’t need to engineer elaborate ideas in our minds which make us appear like something more. We are good enough just as we are! Rather than believing we are bad and working very hard to “increase” our self esteem, moving beyond positive thinking means finding a useful strategy to simply become comfortable with exactly what is. We can sit still in our chairs and observe who we are at any given moment. This is actually the meaning of moving beyond positive thinking and can be practiced in disciplined meditation. Although positive thinking is useful for getting us away from the destructive behavior we may have fallen into, it is not the end-all solution to raising our self esteem. Over the course of time, we can begin to see ourselves as perfectly acceptable just the way we are. We no longer need to “fight” against others to win our self esteem. We can feel confident that we are ok and have found a new way to live.
__________________
You can't run away forever, but there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.
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#3
09-24-2008, 02:58 pm
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whoa you wrote alot there
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#5
10-14-2008, 01:33 pm
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 I'm glad it could help.
__________________
You can't run away forever, but there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start.
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