Obsessing about hurting myself......

[Done-With-It!]

I stopped a few weeks ago, but I keep obsessing about hurting myself. Help?

It's not uncommon for people to continue thinking obsessively about self-injury for a while after they've made the decision to stop. Hurting yourself has been a huge part of your life up until recently, and you're used to dwelling on it. You might think that you're supposed to be "cured" now and that all thoughts of SI should magically vanish from your head, so when you catch yourself thinking about that blade or lighter or whatever, you get angry and frustrated and shove the thought away.
Foa and Wilson (1991) deal with intrusive thoughts by a combination of giving yourself permission to think about it and exposure/habituation techniques combined with ritual prevention. Exposure refers to repeatedly presenting someone with the situation about which they obsess, and habituation happens when, after much exposure without resulting to usual actions, the person gets used to the situation and it no longer distresses them.
To adapt these techniques, first make yourself safe. If you're in a mind-set in which self-injury seems very very likely, it might be better to use distraction techniques to get past that place. Line up a support person whom you can call if you get overwhelmed by this technique. Try to tolerate it for as long as you can, even if you're uncomfortable.
First, designate two 10- or 15-minute time periods daily. Choose times when you will be alone and able to think without being interrupted. To begin, set a timer for the designated amount of time. Then obsess about hurting yourself. Think about what it would feel like, how you would feel afterwards, how much you want to do this -- all those thoughts you've been trying to suppress. Get as distressed as you can, and stay focused on the topic of injuring yourself. You may find, especially after the first few times, that you get really bored toward the end of your time period. That's a good sign -- you're becoming habituated.
When the time is up, stop thinking about SI. If thoughts of wanting to harm come into your mind at other times during the day, acknowledge them and remind yourself that you will think about them later, when it's time. Then let them go. If they come back, repeat the process. Don't shove them away or try to ignore them; just acknowledge, remind yourself they have their time soon, and let go.
After a week or so you will notice an improvement (maybe even after just a few days). One crucial thing: no matter what, do not act on the thoughts of SI. They are just thoughts, and you can use the skills that you used to stop harming to get through these times. In order for habituation to occur, you have to get through the exposure without resorting to the old behavior. Use distraction and substitution for SI (ritual) prevention.

[Chy]

Very, very good self help technique. For those of you who have this constant thought I say read this once, read it again, read it again and again!

[recoveringcutter]

thank you for posting this... i've been asking my friend (who i worked with at cedar point last year) if can talk to her if i ever feel like SI.. we will either take over the phone or online sending message back and forth on myspace..

[Done-With-It!]

I think sometimes the problem with SI is also, we don't 'really' think about it.
We just act. When you see what you've done, often remorse, regret, What
have I done? comes up.

Stopping and thinking about it, obsessing as this says, can make you 'really think'
about what you want to do, and realize it's not what you want to do.

[annihilate_me]

Amazing post. I think this should be a stickie!

[Done-With-It!]

Done

[annihilate_me]

Good.

[*-Teandra-*]

Originally Posted by Chy

Very, very good self help technique. For those of you who have this constant thought I say read this once, read it again, read it again and again!

i agree i jus dnt understand why ppl like to cut themsleves

[Done-With-It!]

Originally Posted by *-Teandra-*

i agree i jus dnt understand why ppl like to cut themsleves

Cutting actually releases endorphins, have you ever heard of
'runners high', or when people get addicted to drugs, etc.
it producers the same kind of feelings but only for a time.
Then they need to do it again, to get the same feeling back.
That's why some do it. It is complicated. It is very addicting
for a lot of people.
I did it for years. Still is really hard not to do it, stressful
or upsetting days are when it is really hard.

[bittersweet]

wow really cool and yeah this wil help other people who do cut

[Lestine]

Self-help techniques as mentioned here is one way to battle SI behavior. However, it is possible that there are uncontrollable situations that self-help strategies won't work. For instance, when a person is outrageously disappointed of himself and is actually doing harm to himself by cutting his wrist, we need to respond immediately. Then after, it would be best if you take him/her in a facility where enough care and attention will be provided for the person to heal. The easiest way to find facilities or institutions in your area is to search online. You may click here to find a therapeutic boarding school that would definitely help the person with SI behavior.

[gracehopwood]

i hurt myself everyday, i have only told my friends about 2 of my cuts so i cut in places that they will never see i dont know if i should tell them coz i feel like im lieing to them:/ but when i told one of them about it she cryed for days and she said it felt like i had cut her coz it hurt her so bad! i dont know what to do:(

[Chy]

OK, time to reach out for help and explore why you do this. We are here to help and encourage you to take care of yourself. You are not alone in this area. But I will say, please don't take ownership of your friends emotions. You didn't purposely set out to hurt her/him however, it seems to me they made it about them and not you. So don't feel bad, you're hurting, you have your own pain to deal with and don't let them make you feel bad. Please keep talking here... I'm listening.