Heeeeeeeeeellllllllllp!!!!

[icthus77]

man oh man. i am so confused and lost and angry and frustrated all at once and i dont know what to do. when came to this site it wasnt b/c i was cutting or b/c i was addicted it was just to be there for those in need and now i dont know what to do. i have a couple of friends who are cutting and one who is pretty bad off. i just dont know what to do. i love them dearly and if i lost them i dont know what id do. they r so special and beautiful to me and they cant see that. the worst part is i dont live near them so i cant be there is physical terms. i just dont know what to do anymore and i know that god will take care of it and all but it just seems so gosh darn hopeless. but i cant let them go and i wont let them go. i just dont know how to get through to them now. i am sorry to be venting like this but i am just so mixed up and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i feel like screaming and i wish i could jsut take their pain away and let them se how beautiful they are. i am utterly lost. HELP!

[Done-With-It!]

Originally Posted by icthus77

man oh man. i am so confused and lost and angry and frustrated all at once and i dont know what to do. when came to this site it wasnt b/c i was cutting or b/c i was addicted it was just to be there for those in need and now i dont know what to do. i have a couple of friends who are cutting and one who is pretty bad off. i just dont know what to do. i love them dearly and if i lost them i dont know what id do. they r so special and beautiful to me and they cant see that. the worst part is i dont live near them so i cant be there is physical terms. i just dont know what to do anymore and i know that god will take care of it and all but it just seems so gosh darn hopeless. but i cant let them go and i wont let them go. i just dont know how to get through to them now. i am sorry to be venting like this but i am just so mixed up and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i feel like screaming and i wish i could jsut take their pain away and let them se how beautiful they are. i am utterly lost. HELP!

Oh sweetie, You amaze me more and more each day. You really are such a good friend, it's hard to find em like you anymore.
Take some deep breaths....

First of all, Suicide and cutting are 'not' the same thing.

So the odds of you losing them are probably the same as they have
been since you have known them. Cutting doesn't mean they are
trying to die it means they are trying to usually,

express/say something they don't know how to say
or
they are in so much mental pain they can't stand it so they
think hurting themself (physical pain) will take that away
or
they think they deserve it for some reason
or
it's a way to slow themselves (their) brain down
or
it makes thoughts/memories go away so you feel pain instead

the list goes on, but see it's not about taking your life. That is
completely different.

You can't take their pain away, but just by being there for them,
that will take their pain away a little each time. Usually cutters
have a really hard time with trust and opening up, so if they do
actually open up to you, that's big for them. The fact that they
even told you they are cutting or have cut is a huge step...

Some of your friends you might be able to somewhat get through too.
Sometimes people just want to hear, it's okay, or whatever, or
they need a reason not to cut, and just being a friend is enough.
Just saying you don't need to do that is all they may need to hear
sometimes, but other times there is no getting through to someone.

What concerns me with you the most is that I can see someone
completely taking advantage of your good nature. You have a willingness
and a want to help people, and that can get you in trouble.
And it will happen before you even know it...
You have to take care of you, #1 first and foremost.
And always remember...... If someone doesn't want to help themselves yet,
there is nothing you can do to change that. You can be there friend, but
from a distance.... IF you don't they will suck the life and the energy
right out of you, and you will have nothing left for yourself or for
any of your other friends.
If someone wants help, you will know it.
You can give them resources, you give them direction, guide them here,
or wherever, and then it's up to them.
But you are not responsible for there well being.

Set your boundaries and your limits now sweetie. You will end up with
your own problems if you don't.
Boundaries sweetie, Keep that in mind... And please be really aware
of how much you are giving of yourself when you get involved in these
situations. It's so easy to take on their feelings, and once you do,
it's so hard to let them go. But what will happen is you will own their
feelings and be so down, and they will be out their without a care in
the world forgetting all about the help you gave them.
Not every time, but it will happen if you aren't careful.

PM me if you need/want too.

[icthus77]

Originally Posted by Done-With-It!

Oh sweetie, You amaze me more and more each day. You really are such a good friend, it's hard to find em like you anymore.
Take some deep breaths....

thanks and i know i am breathing or else i wouldnt be here lol.

First of all, Suicide and cutting are 'not' the same thing.

yeah i deffinately know that cutting and suicide are not the same and when i said lose them i didnt mean in a physical sense i meant more as an emotional sense i guess if that makes any sense at all

So the odds of you losing them are probably the same as they have
been since you have known them. Cutting doesn't mean they are
trying to die it means they are trying to usually,

express/say something they don't know how to say
or
they are in so much mental pain they can't stand it so they
think hurting themself (physical pain) will take that away
or
they think they deserve it for some reason
or
it's a way to slow themselves (their) brain down
or
it makes thoughts/memories go away so you feel pain instead

the list goes on, but see it's not about taking your life. That is
completely different.

You can't take their pain away, but just by being there for them,
that will take their pain away a little each time. Usually cutters
have a really hard time with trust and opening up, so if they do
actually open up to you, that's big for them. The fact that they
even told you they are cutting or have cut is a huge step...

i know being there for them can help but at times it feels so hopeless and it feels like its never ever going to get better. and i know it takes time but it just kills me to watch ones i love be in so much pain and me be so helpless. and i know that actually telling me that they cut was big for them but im not going to stop there. i cant let them go.

Some of your friends you might be able to somewhat get through too.
Sometimes people just want to hear, it's okay, or whatever, or
they need a reason not to cut, and just being a friend is enough.
Just saying you don't need to do that is all they may need to hear
sometimes, but other times there is no getting through to someone.

and thats a major problem, sometimes i dont know what to say. it is so complicated and confusing and im so lost. but i wont stop being their friend that is NEVER the option. lol

What concerns me with you the most is that I can see someone
completely taking advantage of your good nature. You have a willingness
and a want to help people, and that can get you in trouble.
And it will happen before you even know it...
You have to take care of you, #1 first and foremost.
And always remember...... If someone doesn't want to help themselves yet,
there is nothing you can do to change that. You can be there friend, but
from a distance.... IF you don't they will suck the life and the energy
right out of you, and you will have nothing left for yourself or for
any of your other friends.
If someone wants help, you will know it.
You can give them resources, you give them direction, guide them here,
or wherever, and then it's up to them.
But you are not responsible for there well being.

lol dont worry i know how ppl can take advantage and i am cautious of that and yes i am aware that they can suck the life out of me b/c its almost happened but i wont let it. sure i care about them but it wont do any good if i am not around to care b/c they have killed me emotionally. so i wont let it happen. and yes i know i can only help when they are ready. and i will be waiting for them always. and yes i give them resources and i have guided one of them here but who knows where it will go from here. and i know u and not responsible for them but sometimes it feels that way. honestly and it kinda stinks lol.

Set your boundaries and your limits now sweetie. You will end up with
your own problems if you don't.
Boundaries sweetie, Keep that in mind... And please be really aware
of how much you are giving of yourself when you get involved in these
situations. It's so easy to take on their feelings, and once you do,
it's so hard to let them go. But what will happen is you will own their
feelings and be so down, and they will be out their without a care in
the world forgetting all about the help you gave them.
Not every time, but it will happen if you aren't careful.

i know and im being careful. thank u so much. u really are a great person. i love ya dearly and again thanks!

PM me if you need/want too.

sending love your way and prayers lol