My family has issues with 'love'

[CarChick4life]

Sorry for posting again. Seriously. I post too much. Ha I'll try not to post so much. But I have a question. Okay my mom doesn’t love me…and I’ve come to accept that. Hurts like bloody hell but oh well. My dad is off and on…he’s got his own problems. The thing is…my dad is truly sorry about stuff. Like he occasionally get violent when he’s drunk. And the next day he says how sorry he is and he says “I don’t hate you” which is in his way of saying he loves me. I want to be able to say I love you to my dad so he doesn’t feel so bad only I can’t say it. I love them…but I really want to NOT love them anymore. Epically my mom. Because it hurts to much to love someone who hates you. I have a lot of what shrinks call “suppressed anger” because of what happened to me in my childhood (though people don’t know why I have “suppressed anger”) I used to be like…well what would cause that. And as a kid I even loved them when they were doing that. I don’t know but not just with my family but with me ‘big brother/best friend’ I can’t say it to him. He really seems to thinks it’s concerning that I can’t say I love you. And I can’t get into a relationship, working with all guys, and having the personality of a guy, kind of gets me with a lot of guys asking me out. Which I hate. Because I DON’T want to date. I’m really intimidated by relationships. This is probably due to my dysfunctional family relationships and the fact that my only boyfriend was abusive.

[Kellie]

Girl your plate is full... your parents both love you in their own way, unfortunately they are both sick with their own addictions (demons) .
I know when I was in the depths of my addiction, I did not even realize how gawd awful selfish and self-centered I was.
You need to establish some boundaries for yourself and try to not feel so responsible for your parents...
Don't worry about the guy stuff... when you are ready, you will know it, until then try not to let them get under your skin too much...
Oh and you can't post too much... the more the better.

My mother did not tell us she loved us.... then my Dad married his #4 wife and she really opened up our hearts and minds... we started telling our mom that we loved her and she began doing the same... it just wasnt something she grew up around...it got better.