my dads a using drunk.

[laxbabe8d]

so basically i have not talked to my dad in about 3 years... but dont worry i have my reasons. before i was born my dad was an alcoholic but when he married my mom and i was born he stopped for a while. eventually he turned into a social drinker but when i say social i mean he drank to get drunk but he only did it in social postitions. a while back i got a phone call from my dad on christmas day, he told me that i was the only reason that he was alive... i was 14. i then saw my father May of my freshmen year, things seemed to be going fine at that point and he even promised to show up at my lax game. well he never showed and to make things better my dad TEXTED me the day AFTER my birthday to wish me a happy birthday, thanks dad. i have not had a conversation with my father since that that day in May when he made several broken promises to me about a few different things. well a few months back my mom took my father to court for child support... he had not paid it in a few years. the only thing my father had to say about me that day was "when does she turn 18 so i can stop paying child support?"
my father is a current coke head who also uses meth and is an alcoholic.

thanks for everything dad, youve only made me a stronger person.

[2jules7]

:hugs: It takes a lot to share that kind of information with us or anyone for that matter. I havent had the greatest father either, there are many things I dont like to share because they are just embarassing for me.
I just want you to know that I read this and that I care about you and how you're feeling. If you ever need to talk, im always here for you.

[Hopefloats]

(((lax))) I am very sorry for your pain. My daughter's father is in recovery but he spent most of his life drunk. It had such a negative affect on my daughter. My daughter held onto that pain and she turned to drugs and alcohol to cover up her pain. While she did that though, she just created MORE pain. Not just in her life, but in everyone's life.

I would suggest counseling if you can. And a good support group AA. or alateen depending on your age. No matter what has happened to you in the past, you can change your future. You can be the one to break that cycle and give yourself a real chance at living.

Your father was not doing things TO you as far as him setting out to hurt you. But we know that when someone has this disease called addiction it levels the family. It causes such great pain for everyone. But that cycle can be broken.

If you can, reach out and do those things that will help you with your pain and that will show you that you can go forward with forgiveness and compassion in your heart. Taking care of YOU is the best thing that you can do.

Again, I am so sorry for your pain. I have seen this firsthand and it really is sad.

[laxbabe8d]

2jules7:
hi... thanks for your response, it does take a lot to be able to share. and i want you to know that the things your father have done are not your fault and i understand that you may be embarrassed because i am to be as much as we blame oursleves this isnt our fault and it took me 16 years to relaize this and im still struggeling to tell myself this everyday. it sucks to have a using father. but let me tell you that it helps to share and you shouldnt be embarrassed this is not your fault. i promise.

hopefloats:
hi thank you for your response i really apprciate it and i can really relate with your daughter and im sure that my mom can relate with you, lol. but anyways i too am holding onto my anger and letting it out in unhealthy ways, such as using and letting the anger out on my inncoent mother in aggressive unhealthy ways. i am trying to break the cycle, trust me when i say that but it is sooooo hard. most people just dont understand the daily struggles that i and many more who have the same problems are going through. thanks for the support its very much apperciated.

<3 always,
laxbabe.