struggling

[ella15]

Ive got in a habit of coming home from school and having just one drink...i use to only binge drink on the weekends..now i binge drink on the weekends and have one drink after school. But the thing that confuses me is that i always drink to get drunk but after school i only need one drink and then i just go on with whatever i was doing. I normally eat alot after the drink.

Does anyone else do this?

Thanks.

[Done-With-It!]

Hi Ella,

Drinking has never really been a problem for me, but it reminds me of some of the things I do to 'numb' myself. Drinking is like an escape from reality, maybe that is what you are chasing. I tend to do that with other methods, and when I stop doing
it things get pretty confusing.

Some others will be here soon who have probably been where you are. I just wanted to drop in and say Hi mainly. ;-)

[Kellie]

For about ten years it was pretty much the daily rountine to have 1-2 glasses of wine with dinner in the evening, weekends usually involved 2-4 glasses at long dinners with friends and possibly after dinner drinks. Then personal changes in my life turned my drinking from a social and enjoyable experience into a full-blown addiction to alcholol. Drinking to be numb and not feel a whole heck of a lot was my objective. I constantly thought about how and when I could have my next drink....not long before I needed a double of scotch in the early am to just stop the shakes... I was stuck in that very sick pattern for @10 yrs... today I am very grateful to be be free of the beast of addiction and work at making sure i am never tempted to return to the total insanity of alcohol.
I believe that when we start questioning our motives, amounts, and how often we imbibe, to be honest with ourselves and seriously think about cutting way back or stopping completely.

hugs,
Kel

[Chy]

For me I couldn't do just one. I'm sure your not alone. People who suffer from alcholism come in all shapes and sizes as well as equal styles of drinking. I heard of a guy who was an alcoholic that never had a drink.. I don't know either. It is how it makes you feeel to feel like you HAVE to come home for that drink, even if it is one. Then the binging ..well not wise. Keep talking to us and asking questions. We'll do our best to offer our experience as well as support.

[Done-With-It!]

I heard of a guy who was an alcoholic that never had a drink..

How could he know if he was an alcoholic if he never had a drink?
Is that possible?

[Chy]

I'll ask my sponsor on that as it's always perplexed me.

[Kellie]

Is that kinda like a "Dry" Drunk?

I am not so sure i like the term... it gets thrown around a lot.
When some people don't feel comfortable with someone else's behavior, they are quick to point out that they are a dry drunk.

[Done-With-It!]

Originally Posted by KelKel

Is that kinda like a "Dry" Drunk?

I am not so sure i like the term... it gets thrown around a lot.
When some people don't feel comfortable with someone else's behavior, they are quick to point out that they are a dry drunk.

I don't like that term at all! It does get thrown around a lot 'some places'.
It reminds me of the whole 'sub' fight. Those make me crazy!
I don't like to judge anyone and their sobriety. It is each person's own thing, imho.

How are you doing Ella?:sparkling heart:

[ella15]

Hey guys, yea im doing alright. Its been really confusing latley. Im thinking about keeping a diary of how many drinks i have per day or week, but then im scared that ill try to double the drinks for the next time or something.

When ever i get depressed or feel self-concious i run for a drink. This is all new to me and i still cant accept that i have a problem. Thanks for all the support tho!

talk soon. Luv Ella!

[Done-With-It!]

Originally Posted by ella15

Hey guys, yea im doing alright. Its been really confusing latley. Im thinking about keeping a diary of how many drinks i have per day or week, but then im scared that ill try to double the drinks for the next time or something.

When ever i get depressed or feel self-concious i run for a drink. This is all new to me and i still cant accept that i have a problem. Thanks for all the support tho!

talk soon. Luv Ella!

Ella, I can totally relate to that. The first time I quit meth, I honestly did not know if I had a problem. I used to mark a 'RED' X on my calender on the days I used.
They were kind of far apart. Well, a few days, then it turned into everyday.

I do remember like it was yesterday wondering if I now had a 'Problem' with
Meth....... I had a good job, was living my life. The first time what got me thinking was when I was pulled over for expired tags, I had a business suit on, looked nice, just got off of work, and put in the back of a police car while he searched my car. He searched my entire car. I had also just cut myself pretty bad too, and I had my friends 'Paycheck' in my car.
It was horrible. I thought the swat team was going to come and arrest me thinking the blood was from the person's pay check I had in my car.
Luckily for me he let me go. I got sober for awhile, but I fell soo hard eventually....

I still wonder sometimes about how bad my problem was.
I'm not saying our stories are the same, I just can so relate to that
'Not knowing' feeling. It is a tough place to be. Not sure either way.

All I can say is we're here for you, either way.

(((Ella))))