Update with Me.

[NoOneCanHearYou]

Alright, well there's been a whole lot going on lately that I haven't really talked to anyone about...and well I guess I will update you guys on what's up.
I've been working alot, and I love it. My parents hate that I'm working so much, and they've told me that I don't want to be in the house anymore...like, because I've been gone so much I've gotten distant with all of my family, and not just my parents. I figure that my parents have told the rest of my family that I have been a terrible child, and I'm lazy, and all that...and they of course believe them. My mom and my step-dad(I can't call him dad anymore it makes me sick) have told me they don't care about me anymore...I know that my mom just says it because my step-dad wants her to, but it still hurts. Last night they accused me of so much, and I got so angry, I told them that I wanted to leave. My dad said get the **** out, we don't want you here anyway. My mom just stared at me accusingly like it's all my fault, which I guess it is. I dunno, I get so confused by this all the time. Well, anyway, I told my dad that I was sick of his crap and that I was sick of being beat down by his hateful words. He said **** what you want, I'll say what I like I'm the boss, you're a selfish, careless, ungrateful, lazy *****. (It wasn't those exact words, he didn't say *****, but it stung like he did say it) My mom agreed with him like she always does and I was just there crying and really resisting the urge to just take 4 bottles of Tylonol. It was scary.
After the fight my mom kept talking to me like nothing was wrong, and I say **** that. She always goes to my side when dad isn't around and I'm sick of her two-faced attitude. She's against me and she made it clear she was sick of me being around. So I figured I'll gradually pack my bags and leave before I end up ODing on something.

This morning my dad quit his job. That's really bad, because now we have no insurance, and that means that diabetic supplies, docter visits, dental visits, are all going to be sky high. Our income was low enough, and now because of his lazy ass, we will probably lose everything. The house, the car, my moms job (she needs a computer to work). I'm going to try and help out as much as I can, because he's obviously not going to support any of us anymore. He's the lazy one, not me. He didn't like his job, but instead of waiting it out until my mom could get a nursing degree, he ****ing quit because he'd rather sleep all day. I hate his guts for doing that to my mom. I hate him so much. So ****ing much. If he knew how he really was, how he made people feel. **** him.

[Chy]

Wow girl, I'm sorry for all that, he sounds like a horrible person. I know you're a good person, you're meant to learn from this horrible excuse of a man. Yeah, when old enough, when you can afford it, I'd be out the door to. I know you're going to do well but only when you get out of that toxic environment. *hugs*

[Done-With-It!]

I did not know he was your 'step' dad. I have had a lot of those in and out rents in my life and they can make your heaven or hell. My Bio Dad has let the step monster rule his life and she did not want me in his life, him & I were extremely close and she did not like that, and that had to stop.
She made sure of that. So much chaosS at that time.
I won't get into it but, it (she) caused an awful lot of people in my life to exit. It was not a fun time.
So I can relate to wanting to take 4 bottles of tylenol, etc.
Eventually I cut them out of my life completely. Having them in my life was to self destructive for me.
I ended up moving away from all my family pretty much, I am close to my Mom but that is it.
My Dad has said a lot of those same things about me, etc. Some day he may change his tune as mine did.
You know they often tend to like it when we fail, when we make bad mistakes, when we are miserable, and Even when we are trying to kill ourselves, because then they can say, SEE, I TOLD YOU ALL, IT'S HER,
Not ME, or at least that is how it was in my case, and in a few others I have seen. My Dad both hates and loves that I have a mind of my own.
He hates and loves what I do for a living, he hates and loves when I succeed and when I fail. He is confused. I used to let him confuse me.
Then I figured it out.
Don't waste your time like I did trying to figure your parents out.
Because as soon as you do? You won't care anymore.
Use your precious time on yourself. Don't worry about trying to get their approval, because believe me, you've already got it, they just don't want you to know, or don't know how to let you know.


Keep working hard, and get out when you can little sister.
There are always people out there that love you..
Love ya!

[NoOneCanHearYou]

I don't know my bio dad, hell I don't even know his name. He used to abuse my mom and as far as I know, he has a family somewhere else now. I think I have twin sisters somewhere I dunno.

I know I need to move away from my dad, but I feel like I won't be able to take care of myself, and that I'll prove them right. I can't help but be confused by what they want.

I know for an absolute fact that I need help. I need to talk to a counceler about all this stuff...but I can't afford one, and I can't get to one.