Really need advice, good advice, please

[proud.2.be.me]

Okay so im 18 years old, finishing school, and living in my own place with the love of my life.. seems good right? i wish. Me and my significant other fight constantly.. we used to be so happy and now others things just seem to be more important than me.. just when i think things are going so perfectly, they turn around and kick me down. I honestly feel like its not worth it nemore. All of my decisions are based on my other, whether it makes me happy or not. All i want to do is make my other happy. We have been together for over 2 years now and i honestly love my lover to death, dont know what i would do without this person. I just feel like the most important person in my life, doesnt give a **** nemore. We have everything we have always wanted and dreamed for and now its falling to peices more and more everyday. I have put my feelings not just on the back burner but in the very bottom of the oven. to me, my feelings are nothing, as long as my love is happy. I know it sounds ridiculous and all i ever get is the same old things "you need to love yourself" "you are most important" i know i know i know, but easier said then done when you are a push over and in love.
Please if you have anyother advice than the same old crap,
id love to hear it. Thanks.

I wish wrtiing all that made these feelings go away :(

[*silenced*]

Hm. Well, I know I'm a bit younger than you and all, but I know what it's like to fight with someone you love a lot, me and my late boyfriend were forever fighting and making up, made the good times even better, but the bad times were worse. We only worked it out when we talked and like, identified why we were fighting.
So, I guess I think it depends on what you're fighting about?
Money, needs...etc? I guess thats the kinds of thing that puts a lot of relationships on unsteady ground. And to resolve what is going on, you must know well, exactly what's making you two act like this?
And also remembering that you too are important. And tell your partner to respect that, no one person should be more important but at some times, one persons needs have to come before the others, sometimes. And again, that puts stress on the relationship. Make sure they know how you feel.
Dont put your emotions as you put it, on the back burner, anymore. Take a chance to change this and make it better. You can either grow together or it wont work. Thats what I've found anyway.

[Polyxena]

I am the same with those I love and care for. And the rhetoric does not bridge that brain-heart gap, I know. One thing I found helpful recently, though, was to pick just one thing, small if need be, that you really want or want to happen, ect. and set that boundry. Just one boundry, whether it be a night alone, a night together, a movie you really want to see, not nessecarily something your lover hates, or does not want, but something YOU want.
After you set that small boundry, you will be suprised at what it does for a relationship... it puts it on a more equal footing.
Hope I helped some,
Poly.

[proud.2.be.me]

thanks for the advice guys.. its jsut really hard, this situations i put myself in and the things that i get myself into.. i try not to have time where im not doing anything in a day so i dont have to think about the negatives going on in my life.. once i do that then everything falls. Once i realize how ****ty my life really is and all the **** that i have been through.. i want to disappear. I try take time to myself and walk, but then that causes more depression. And then i end up getting myself so deep into things that i cant get out of them but dont have time to do it all.. and dont want to do it all.. i feel like this doesnt make sence, but in my head it does.. and my brain doesnt know how to cope with it. And then I cut.. ugh, thats a whole other story but anyways,,, i go to alanon meetings, not doing anything for me anymore, all my old coping mechanisms are failing, i am failing, my life is failing... and falling, deeper and deeper into this black whole we call life. im totally off topic but i dont know. sometimes it feels good. I was reading something that essence posted, that on these forums she feels like a different person and i totally agree with that. Here i dont have to have a smile if im not smiling, i dont have to impress anybody, i dont have to hide from anything, just my fears. But i too feel like what i say here, is really me and really how i feel and im not judged by it. i love it. anyways, there was my load of nothingness. Thanks.