Depression, A Killer

[Kellie]

Depression is a real killer. It kills your interest in doing things with your family and friends. It kills your ability to love yourself and others. It kills your desire to achieve or read or do art or simply have a real conversation. Simply stated, it kills your enjoyment and pleasure in life. And sometimes, it ends life.

I have heard all the arguments against taking antidepressants. Let me see: "I don't like the way they make me feel..." Or how about: " My friends would think I'm crazy!!!" Or: "I can do this on my own!" Or any of a thousand excuses.

But let's say you have dangerously high blood pressure and need medications to make sure it stays in an acceptable range. Or sugar diabetes medications. Or heart medications. Or chemo for cancer. Or even antibiotics for an infection. Think about each of these illnesses and see if the answers we use to avoid confronting our depression make any sense at all. They really don't make sense, do they? Because depression is no different from other illnesses; it is a serious disease caused by an imbalance in the chemistry of the brain. Period.

Like some of you reading this, I have endured life-threatening depressions. Those times represent some of the worst of my existence. I felt trapped by life and could not stop thinking about how much pain I felt and how to best rid myself of the agony I felt. Which brings me to another important point: depression usually has one symptom that is often overlooked: obsessive thinking.

Have you ever felt depressed and found yourself thinking about the same thing over and over again? Maybe it was a relationship that didn't work out or something someone said that hurt you. The culprit is obsessive thinking. When we are depressed and obsessive, it is almost impossible to rid ourselves of the same tired thoughts that circle round and round. And usually, this kind of thinking makes us even more depressed.

Over all, we have learned a lot about mental illness in the past few decades. We have learned about the importance of certain brain chemicals in maintaining normalcy in our daily lives. The reason we have learned so much is because millions of people suffer some form of mental illness including life threatening depression at some time in their lives. Still more have ongoing struggles with this disease.

Most of us have known someone who committed suicide. I have had several people close to me take their life. Two of them were important to me personally and professionally---I am a writer/songwriter: they were my co-writers and close friends.

I have felt tremendous guilt about their decisions. I have wondered if I could have changed their minds if I had known how close to the edge they were. I loved them and miss them still. They probably had no idea how many people loved them. Most depressed people get so focused on their own pain that they are unaware of the love and needs of the people who share their lives.

I also realize that most people who are suicidal don't really want to die, they just want an end to the pain they feel. I know because there have been several times I skated along that dangerous edge. I realize that suicide is sometimes only minutes away---there have been several times that a ringing telephone or doorbell helped me get past those moments.

Another aspect to depression and suicide that should be addressed is this: children within a family of someone who commits suicide will often follow suit. This could have several components including predisposition to depression or simply that because a parent or sibling chose the finality of suicide, it became an acceptable alternative. This means that if you have kids or siblings or sometimes friends and choose suicide, you have increased the probability that they will commit suicide ten-fold.

It isn't easy to make the committment to getting the help we need. But I can assure you, it is worth it. After many years of getting by, I have a wonderful life that is shared by a loving husband and great kids and grandkids. And before you dismiss me as "someone's old grandma", let me tell you that this grandmother is a hiker, backpacker, equestrian, river runner, artist, writer, songwriter and environmental activist! I am better than ever before and do a lot of fun things! There was a time I despaired of having anything resembling this happiness---but I believed that I could get help and I did!

I am still on antidepressants and may be for life. But that's okay because it is truly "for life" that I take them. If you suffer from depression, I hope you will get the help you need.
- nancy bostick-ebbert

[Chy]

Depression affects an alarming percentage of the teen population nowdays. More so now then ever. Please know that there are people that care that can help, don't be stuck in it alone, reach out for help!