paranoid and desprate

[emo_mia_emo]

i dont think i have put this in the rite pl but here goes i have been with my boyfriend for five months now and i have always been the same when he goes to his other house in hastings i ring him when i want sumthing and if he doesnt answer the fone i ring him untill he does which usually results in like 10 to 20 missed calls, i feel so bad about it coz i got over this before i have agraphobia and paranoia ( i dont think thats spelt rite) i no that he wants to be left alone when he is away but i just feel every time he goes away its my fault like i have done sumthing wrong and he says i havent! can any one help pleaz???? xxx carly xxx

[Kellie]

Hey Carly
Thanks for getting it out there.
You should think about focusing more on yourself and less on your boyfriend. Maybe try and figure out why you end up feeling the way you do when he is away.
Good to see you by the way...

Hugs,
Kel

[Done-With-It!]

Hey sweetie,

Good to see you posting.

I'm not a doctor or anything close, so this is just a guess, It kind of
sounds like you have abandonment issues. Like maybe other people
have left you or you've lost them in the past, so it has created a fear
in you that you will keep losing people you care about?

If that has anything to do with it, try to sway your thoughts from
losing him. Keep reassuring yourself that things are fine, and that you are fine.

Put limits on yourself, if you call once, leave a message and let that be it.
Then try and do something to keep yourself busy until he calls back.
Come here post, go for a walk, read a book, watch a movie, call someone else, etc...
It will be hard at first, but the first time he calls you back without you having to call him 10 times, You will start gaining confidence a little more each time, that he didn't leave you.

Just a guess, like I said, I may be way off.

Do you have a therapist or anyone you can talk to about this?

Keep posting, It's great to see you.

[emo_mia_emo]

Originally Posted by Done-With-It!

Hey sweetie,

Good to see you posting.

I'm not a doctor or anything close, so this is just a guess, It kind of
sounds like you have abandonment issues. Like maybe other people
have left you or you've lost them in the past, so it has created a fear
in you that you will keep losing people you care about?

If that has anything to do with it, try to sway your thoughts from
losing him. Keep reassuring yourself that things are fine, and that you are fine.

Put limits on yourself, if you call once, leave a message and let that be it.
Then try and do something to keep yourself busy until he calls back.
Come here post, go for a walk, read a book, watch a movie, call someone else, etc...
It will be hard at first, but the first time he calls you back without you having to call him 10 times, You will start gaining confidence a little more each time, that he didn't leave you.

Just a guess, like I said, I may be way off.

Do you have a therapist or anyone you can talk to about this?

Keep posting, It's great to see you.

thank you u got that soo rite actually, i will try the things u said and let u no! xx carly xx:rainbowsmilie:

[Kellie]

[Kellie]

Hey Carly..
Wanted to say good morning and remind you of this thread.

[Done-With-It!]

How ya doing sweetie?

[Clippedwings]

Sounds similar to what I go through with my boyfriend at times, although it tends to me being a complete ***** to him until he is so unset he wants to go then I beg him to stay.

I know when they arent around you can't stop thinking about them and want to call them, but becoming too dependant on one person can lead to problems.

What I tend to do is set one day a week aside where we dont see, ring, talk to each other, then I plan something really fun to keep my mind off him. Remember relationships need space hun.

Would love to hear how your doing.