wots going on for me today

[denny]

hi every1 just got back from a EDA meeting been going for 4 weeks now but it is hard to get myself to go, i keep coming up with excuses in my head like i don't need to go, i can't get there its too far, i'm too tried when i don't sleep more than a hour or 2 a nite. ect..:icon_bang when i no the real reson is that i don't no if i can be honest with pepal about food. my friend who goes to the meeting as well picked me up and on the way there we were chatting and she asked me if i had eaten i said yes when i haven't, i sat in the meeting feeling like **** for lieing to her and not noing whi i was lieing about it to some1 who understands about that stuff on the way home we were talking and i told her that i had not told her the truth about eating, she sed that she new i was lieing about it but disided i wud tell her the truth in my own time and not to push me b4 i am ready. now i feel stuped and hate it
denny

[historyteach]

(((Denny)))
I'm so sorry you are feeling stupid! Because, honestly, there is no reason to feel that way. Your friend was being a very good friend!! You are very lucky to have her around.

Denny, she knew you were lying because she has probably done the same thing herself. And she knew you needed your space and the time to speak without pressure. What she was doing was sharing her Experience, Strength and Hope, (ESH), with you.

We need to heal the hurts within, that cause us to hurt ourselves. It doesn't matter if we hurt ourselves with food, (or without it), with alcohol, with drugs or with self neglect of any kind. We hurt ourselves because there is an emptyness; a void within ourselves. We want that emptyness to go away. So, we use different things hopping to fill that void. But, what we really need is something else.

The 12 Steps help us to fill that void we have within. Your friend was sharing her ESH because she knows it's a program of attraction. If you want what she's got, you will follow the steps too. Our reward for following the steps is peace; serenity. The hole is filled. And we can enjoy our lives to the fullest.

Denny, this program is not easy, but, it works. Do you want to feel better? Are you ready to do whatever it takes to feel better?

We are all here ready to share our own ESH with you, so that you can be all that you are meant to be. And that includes happy.

Keep coming back, Denny; it works if you work it and your worth it!
Shalom!

[Chy]

Boy I understand that coming up with excuses and what is called complacency about going to meetings. It's really hard sometimes to go especially when you don't feel much better, the problem is still there, and not much has changed. What I do know is eventually it rubs off, eventually your going to gel with someone else there, eventually you'll have a light bulb moment by listening to similar stories and realize that you to can heal and get better. I'm not anorexic but alcoholic, and it's not much different really, we lie, conivive and manipulate those around us to believing we're just fine when we really haven't made any progress, still doing the same thing, still working within in the disease.

I guess what I'm trying to say is keep going to meetings, take baby steps towards progress and really come to accept it's okay to be honest, you'll get better. Set little goals for yourself not big ones because those are to hard to accomplish and are disappointing to us when we fail to achieve them.

Make a plan of the next day's activity like an appointment you have to keep. Like at 2pm tomorrow I must eat an apple, at 4 pm I must eat a half a sandwhich, keep those food items small so it doesn't overwhelm you to eat them the next day add another snack, and slowly work it out till you can plan a breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But also keep those quantities realistic as to you know what you can handle, because you don't want to dissappoint yourself for example for breakfast a handful of cereal, lunch a slice of bread with lunch meat or just some fruit or yogurt. The key is setting realistic goals you know you can manage.

If your setting goals realistic to you, and when you accomplish those goals by eating stuff your not only going to start feeling better because you have some nutrition in you but you'll have a sense of accomplishment in realizing this is something you can heal from and get better. But as we say Honesty, Openmindness, and Willingness are key, once you've come to accept those three words you have a new outlook and new realization you can do this. *hugs*