Venting...

[renee18]

I have had such a bad day today. I am so depressed, sad angry. I go on thursday to get help with my eating disorder I hope I can make it till then without going crazy. I binged all day today. I tried to stop but i couldn't. I am so angry at myself now and I feel sick. Stupid me I knmow if I eat all that junk food it will make me sick but i still do it then i get so angry with myself. I want this to stop I can't do this anymore. I just want to scream or hit something. I am home by myself right now my roommate should be home soon. I need someone to hold me. I just feel like sitting here and crying but the tears wont come. Why did it have to get this bad before i said I would get help?
Work today sucked, my eating is interfering with all areas of my life even work now and I did not realize that untill tonight. I hate my job all the residents are sio damn demanding and I can't do it anymore. I don't have the energy to do it anymore. Wheather it is because of my eating disorder or depression or both I really don't care. I hate it. I had a resident tell me to my face that they don't like me and I had a resident say to me that I did a good job leading exercise but then she turned to another resident to complain about how i did the exercises. Does everyone hate me or something. i am doing the best I can. Does that count for something?

I feel so alone and I feel like none of my friends can help me.

Renee

[Bryson]

((Renee))

I don't know anything about eating disorders... but I'm happy to hear you're getting help for it. That's all you can do right now

[renee18]

Thanks atleast someone is listening to me

renee

[Bryson]

How's it goin today?

[Chy]

Renee you WILL make it till Thursday! Just hang on girl!!

[2jules7]

Stay positive. You can make it through today and you can make it to Thursday. There are people who are going to say those hash things, but you have to remember the nice things. I heard that it takes four positive things to make up for one negative thing that someone says to you. So maybe try each day to find those positive things within yourself. Knowing that you're getting help on Thursday can be one. Dont get discouraged, as long as you keep hanging on, you can get through this. *hugs*

[renee18]

Today have been a little bit better for me. I am just really tired from everything that happened yesterday. I find that I am being angry real easy and I really don't know why. i am glad that I am done with work tonight and that I don't have to go back in until tomorrow at 330pm. Hopefully I will sleep better.

Thanks for the encouragement
Renee

[Bryson]

Hope you have a better rest of the night... I know how sleeping can be a challenge sometimes :\

[renee18]

Today has been a much better day I got up and showered applied for a job, and went to the store and i am feeling okay for the time being. I work 330-7pm tonight then to an Al-Anon meeting at 730 and then taking it easy. Hopefully work with be easy tonight.

Renee

[Hopefloats]

Glad you had a better day (((renee)))