Iam falling again.... :( *trig*

[Becks]

My eating is starting to go down hill again. The thoughts of being fat and being ugly have been coming back and I feel like Iam believing them.

The purging and starving is coming back. I starve myself for periods of time and then I overeat. But then the purging comes into play. I don't want to fall back into my bulimic and anorexic stages again. It took so long to get back to a healthy eating pattern. Now Iam falling again and its going back to the old ways.

Iam trying not to let it happen, but lately I haven't been able to stop it. I feel like a complete failure for actually letting it come back into my life again. What do I do? My parents don't know about it and I don't want them to find out.

Iam such a failure. I want it so much but I don't and I won't do it but I want to and I don't know what to do anymore.

I can't do this anymore. Iam killing myself slowly. Through the SI and the ED's. I wish it would be all over. I don't want to live like this anymore. What should I do?? *cries*

[historyteach]

Becks;
The last time we talked, you were going to speak with the doctor about your meds. Did you do so? What was the result if you did?

You were also going to follow a plan to do 4 things each day. That is to care for yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Have you done so?

Please let us know what's up. You are not a failure. But, you need to follow through on your plans to be successful.

Be good to yourself... *hug*
Shalom!

[historyteach]

Becks....are you around???
Please let us know how you are doing, ok? *hugs*
Shalom!

[Becks]

I spoke to my doctor about the meds. He changed them, but at the moment, they are making me really ill. Iam still working on the plan of 4 things a day. It seems to really help. Iam doing alright, Iam just trying to get through this down patch Iam having.

*huggles*

[historyteach]

(((Becks)))
Kudos to you for working on the good things in your life!!!
Talk to your doctor again if the meds are making you ill. Tell the doc what the symptoms are. There are plenty of antidepressants out there for you to try until you get the right one for you.
I'm glad you are doing "alright." I look forward to the day when you can honestly say, "I'm doing GREAT!!! "
*hugs*
Shalom!